Being real.

I can get madder than a hornet.  I have a very hard time extending a particular kind of forgiveness.  The kind of forgiveness that requires a whole lot of investment of my hurt heart and a whole lot of no heart investment from my offender.  Ya know what I'm talking about?  The kind of forgiveness that you want to extend ONLY AFTER they absolutely know and understand the offense they have caused you.  The kind that needs proof of some suffering first.  Like twisting their arm as hard as I can in effort to show them the offense.  After all, if I don't, how in the world can they see the magnitude of my awesome forgiveness.  Are you stepping in this with me?  Or am I all by myself here?

This may come as a shocker but people who love and serve Jesus have the same feelings and emotions as the rest of the world.  We haven't been magically set free from all human struggles. 

Like I've said in the previous post, I'm not a violent person, but I do like vindication now and then.  I have to admit there are a few times I would love to lob off a couple fingers as pay back.  (gasp!)  Sorry if I've disappointed anyone.  Just being honest.
I believe to effectively minister to broken people, we have to be able to say we've been there, we've suffered the same thing, we have felt the same feelings.  We need to keep it real. 
At the end of the day, I always want to be authentic and I will always lay out all my (shoulder) chips to the one who is authentic, and never ever to the one who hides behind an "act" of perfection.  I will always put my stakes on the stories of redemption over the stories of perfection.

Because I am a screw up at times, who loves Jesus...I know I will have victories and failures in how I deal with my junk.  And we all have junk....Jesus even did.  Now hold up before you start calling out..."Blasphemer! Heretic!"

Some of my favorite verses in scripture....
...since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.   For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Is those two verses not totally amazing!  What hope for me!  He knows my struggle, He's able to sympathize with my struggle cause HE HAS BEEN THERE!  And what I love even more, it says, YET He was without sin.  And that's why I love Him so much!  That's why my relationship with Jesus is worth everything!  He shows me the way, He has sent His Spirit to empower me to do as He did.  And when I fail, there's no condemnation, but forgiveness that was paid at the cross.  All my past, present, and future failures forgiven! That's complete victory now.  Right now.  And right now.

So if you see someone missing a couple fingers out there somewhere, you know why...Will you tell them you know me and on a positive note, I'm using our example to minister to others?  I am sorry.  Keeping it real.  :)

Just a chunk.